All Good Things Must End… (Or At Least Slow Down)

It hurts my heart to write this post – but after nearly two years of posting on this blog every day of the work week, it’s time to cut back. From now on, I’ll be posting entries on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.

It’s a very difficult decision to make that I’ve wrestled with for a long time, but I have a lot of exciting changes coming up in my life very soon that have (and will continue to) commandeered most of my time and energy. Starting July 1, I’m moving into a row home in DC (like, literally downtown, far far away from the suburbs I’ve lived in for 23 years – eek!) with five of my girlfriends. I’m taking a full time position at the Animal Welfare League of Arlington, and I’ve also officially joined the team at Dog Latin Dog Training! These exciting beginnings are all things I need to talk about in more detail later, but I hope it gives you a bit of a sense of what blogging is up against in my life right now.

So while I am closing a chapter on Peace, Love & Fostering, I am proud to look back at some achievements we’ve made since this blog was first created:

Crazy to reflect back on all that, right? Looking at the numbers still truly stuns me. I cannot believe how many people have stumbled across PL&F.

To make it clear: I’m not going away, I’m just only going to be around twice a week. I hope you’ll understand, and perhaps even keep coming back? I’m actually a little excited about this change because it will free up some time for me to write better, more thought out posts. I’d rather give you guys two solid posts a week than five so-so ones. So thanks for sticking with me through all this craziness – I have YOU to thank for the past 1.75 years of complete and total success. Seriously, thank you!

See you Tuesday and Thursday :-).

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to the absolute best dad in the world! My dad has always been there to support my fostering efforts. He is the one who watches the pups during the day while I’m at work, sometimes finding out for us the hard way what their “quirks” are :-). Thank you, Daddy, for taking such great care of my pups… and me!

Hope everyone had a great Father’s Day spending time with loved ones!

Surviving the Storm

. . . just kidding – all is well here in Maryland after the big scary storms we were forecasted to get all week. The storm wasn’t awful. Frankie was prepared though, stuffed animal & all!

Have a great weekend, everyone. Thanks again for all you did for Frankie this week!

Walking Frankie’s Walk

We headed out to the AWLA Pit Crew training walk Sunday morning and had a blast! Frankie, like most of the dogs in the group, is working on his excitability around other dogs. He is not reactive, but if you get too close to another dog he will enthusiastically try to go say hi. . . yeah, not the politest. Honestly though I was expecting a little bit more of a show from him. He was a dream! You can tell that the shelter staff and volunteers have done a lot of work with him because he is attentive and will refocus his attention easily.

Frankie is a big dog, so it’s pretty imperative that he has at least decent leash manners. While a group walk isn’t the place to exactly teach new skills, I used it as an opportunity to reinforce Frankie for walking nicely. Any time he would orient himself towards me and therefore have a very loose leash, I marked the behavior and rewarded him. I wanted to make myself more fun than the distractions around him that cause him to pull. Between the helpful gear (front clip harness) and the rewards, he did great! You know you had a successful walk when your arms are NOT tired after walking a 75 pound dog for an hour.

Frankie and I enjoyed walking with the group and catching up with our good friends Kim (human) & Nicky (dog). Frankie and Nicky took an extra lap together after the group dispersed. Nicky liked Frankie initially until he used his all time worst pick up line on her (straight paw to the head) and she decided she’d rather play hard to get. Since he’s a gentleman he let her have her space and the two of them enjoyed getting to know each other from a distance. What a fun morning to wrap up our time together!

If you’re in the DC area and you’re interested in adopting Frankie, email me at peacelovefoster@gmail.com.

Wordless Wednesday: Thank You

Slumber Party With Frankie

First and foremost, thank you all so much for the overwhelming response to yesterday’s post about Frankie’s situation.  I know many of you are involved in animal rescue and get bombarded with requests to help pets in need every single day, so the fact that you took the time and energy to share Frankie’s story truly means the world to me.

I also want to make something else clear: I am not asking you to put your efforts into a dog with “issues.” Frankie is not the problem child of the shelter that we’ve all fallen in love with because he’s been here the longest and we can’t help but hope he has a happy ending – this isn’t that at all. Frankie is truly one of the best and easiest dogs I have ever met, he just continues to get dealt the worst hand. His odds are changing now though, thanks to you! So, back to our weekend together. . .

As you could gather from yesterday’s post, Mr. Frankie’s brain is in need of a break from the shelter. While I can’t give him this permanently, I am able to give him short vacations here and there. I retrieved him from the shelter Saturday afternoon and brought him home to spend the night with me and then head to a group training walk on Sunday morning. We spend a pretty decent amount of time together in the office, but I was really excited to get him out into the world and learn more about him and his charming personality.

Normally when I bring a new foster home from the shelter I give them a couple days to chill out and adjust. Such a big change can be a real shock to a shelter dog. I know Frankie’s history though and I know he is resilient to change and new environments – not to mention he does get a decent amount of fun, novel experiences at the shelter, so I know he handles them well. Frankie did not seem stressed in the slightest when we got to my house, so I felt comfortable setting off on some adventures with him.

First stop was the backyard. This was an enjoyable experience for the both of us. Frankie, of course, loved the extra space to run around. The nice thing, though, was that he did not display any of the over-excited behaviors that he sometimes does in the shelter. He reminds me a lot of Johnnie in that you can tell he thinks hard about his decisions when he is excited. Thanks to the hard work of the trainers at AWLA, it is clear he has learned impulse control, which leads him to be a pleasure to work with in both training and play.

After bouncing around the yard together, Frankie was hot and tired. I knew just what he needed: a trip to the creek! I was unsure of whether or not he’d been in/near water before, but he actually walked right in! He didn’t swim and he chose not to stay in too long, but he seemed to enjoy cooling off and investigating the bank. I loved watching him soak up the new sites and sniffs. He seemed to love it, too.

We returned home for dinner where I got the absolute performance of a lifetime with Frankie and his dinner in the Kong Wobbler. Oh my gosh, it was hilarious! He was trying so hard to get those kibbles out – he would alternate between smacking it around the room and staring at it intently like he was trying to wish the food out of the hole. Funny as it was, he sure was using up energy in the process – check out those concentration wrinkles!

After an hour or so of adventuring at this point, it was time to settle in for the night, which happens to be Frankie’s favorite thing to do. I gave him an antler which he happily gnawed on for a bit until he curled up on his bed and went right to sleep. Getting a dog out of the shelter and letting them run and play is nice, but I almost find the peaceful moments more rewarding. Shelter dogs don’t get to know what it’s like to comfortably snooze at their best friend’s feet during a movie, or how nice it is to share space while the humans work. These are things all dogs deserve in life, including Frankie.

The relaxation and just ‘being’ continued into the night when we turned in for bed. I don’t normally let my fosters sleep on the bed, but I absolutely could not resist letting Frankie up there for just one night. And I am so happy I did – he is an unbelievable cuddler! He snuggled right up next to me like it was his absolute favorite spot. He didn’t stir all night until we woke up early the next morning for the pit crew walk (which his snuggles almost made us late for!). I think sleeping together was my favorite part of the whole visit.

I’ll leave the update and cute pictures from the pit crew walk for another post. For now, I just hope I was able to get across how truly awesome this pup is. It is not every day you find a dog that you can take out of a shelter and fit almost seamlessly into home life, but that is Frankie. Thanks for taking the time to hear his story and learn more about what’s behind those blue and brown eyes. He and I are both so grateful.

If you’re in the DC area and are interested in fostering or adopting Frankie, please email me at peacelovefoster@gmail.com!

The Tough Truth About Frankie

When I shared Frankie’s handsome face on Friday, I described him as the dog he is at heart: goofy, adorable and loving. Sadly, there is a bit more to the story. Frankie has been in the shelter for six months. That is almost 20% of his entire life. Shelter life is obviously not the ideal situation for any animal, and it takes its toll on each pet in a different way.  For Frankie, it is not going well.

The staff at his shelter are doing everything they can to keep him happy, including play groups, enrichment activities, extra human time and more exercise. Something is just not clicking with him though. Here is a note written by his biggest fan on the behavior team at the shelter after some friends met him for the first time:

“When you saw Frankie, you probably couldn’t tell too much. Fridays are good for him, he gets a lot of walks and attention. But then the weekend comes and his routine is thrown off. By Monday morning, he is a wreck. It takes a staff member or volunteer at least 30 minutes of snuggle time just to get him to WANT to go on a walk. We take him outside, where he rolls in the grass, and zones out as we give him belly rubs and talk to him softly.

When Frankie is with people, his comfort and joy is palpable. As you saw, he will literally fall asleep in your lap. But without consistent human touch and affection over long periods of time, the stress of the kennels is slowly wearing him down. This is a dog who grew up in a neglect situation. He grew up without any human affection at all. Despite that, he has managed to remain at heart a social dog who enjoys the company of people. However, long periods without human contact cause him great emotional suffering and stress. Instead of shutting down, Frankie is beginning to show other concerning behaviors that show us his emotional breakdown. He will repeatedly jump at the door to his kennel, and has a difficult time settling on his own, even after the longest of walks. This may not seem concerning, but we have learned that these behaviors are the beginnings of stereotypy – repetitive behaviors caused by stress. If this level of stress goes on too long for a kenneled dog, long term effects occur as their brain chemistry will actually change.

Frankie used to relax quite well in his room after walks. Over time though, he is now just as antsy afterward as he is at the start. To help him, we begin and end walking sessions with relaxation time – body massages and belly rubs and snuggles. However, it is clear that Frankie is suffering. You can’t see it on the outside. Every Friday I go home and he is happy and relaxed. Come Monday morning he is transformed into a stressed out and anxious boy. Given some time, he comes around and bit by bit, he comes back to us. But he is in emotional pain here, and soon I fear it will be too late for him to turn back into the fun-loving, happy-go-lucky dog that he is.

I really am worried for him. The best life he has ever had is in the shelter. The people who love him most are here. And that’s okay, some dogs don’t even get that, many dogs really. But he deserves a home.”

Falling in love with Frankie is contagious. I realized that quickly and, just like the rest of the staff, became attached to him almost immediately. It probably has to do with the way he gravitates towards your lap as soon as you get on the floor, or maybe it’s the way his front paws awkwardly face away from each other beneath his big smile, only adding to his goofy demeanor, or maybe it’s his laid-back personality that is a breath of fresh air from the exuberant adolescent dogs you’re used to. Who knows. But Frankie is Frankie and he will make you fall in love with him.

It breaks my heart that I can’t long term foster him thanks to my upcoming move, because a house with no other dogs, a big yard and someone who wants to take him on hiking adventures is just what he needs (not saying anything about myself, just that my situation was ideal for dogs like him!).

The least I could do was give him a break from the shelter, so that is what I did. Saturday afternoon Frankie came home with me so I could take him to the pit crew group walk on Sunday morning. We jammed as much fun into our 16 hours together as possible, which I will tell you all about tomorrow!

If you or someone you know is interested in fostering or adopting Frankie, a big dog located in VA who would excel in an active, only-dog household, please email me at peacelovefoster@gmail.com! Spread the word about handsome Frankie!

Three is the New One: Meet Frankie

When I featured some adorable puppies on the blog this past Monday, many of you chimed in about how babies are cute but older dogs are usually much easier and often more rewarding to adopt or foster. Thanks to spending time with Jayla and now this guy Frankie who I am about to share with you, I can re-confirm that I whole-heartedly agree!

Frankie is a long time resident at the Animal Welfare League of Arlington (six-ish months). He was adopted out as a puppy and then returned, and he quickly found himself as a staff favorite. At about three years old, Ol’ Blue Eyes is the perfect mix of bouncy energy and total couch potato – in fact, he spends most of his time as the latter. I’ve gotten to know him in the couple of months I’ve been working here part time, and it’s easy to see why everyone loves him so much.

First of all, he is absolutely stunning. He is a Catahoula mix, so his merle, leopard-looking coat is unique and eye catching. His eyes are each half blue and half brown, and his long, strong legs make him look particularly noble.

“Look at my beautiful eyes and my pretty furs!”

My absolute favorite thing about Frankie is how well he settles, even in a new environment. Whether you’re visiting with him in his kennel or hanging out with him by your desk (which I do a lot, lucky me!), he is lying quietly on his bed in about three minutes. It gets better – he doesn’t care if you leave! I have had my fair share of “office dogs” and let me tell you – it’s usually all fine and dandy when you’re around, but the second you leave your desk all hell breaks loose. Barking and carrying on and telling the whole office, “SHE LEFT ME!” Not Frankie. You can leave for a meeting and come back 45 minutes later and there he is, snoozing away where you left him. This leads us to believe that he will be awesome in a home and can probably just be left on the couch when you go to work for the day.

“I love to snuggle… even if it is just with myself.”

While Frankie is super chill when around people, he’s a pretty big goofball around other dogs. He’s that kid on the playground who means well but just, er, can’t take a hint that the other kids don’t want him around, ya know? Poor Frankie, all he wants to do is wrestle. . . but other dogs just don’t seem to appreciate his lack of social skills. He enjoys playgroup at the shelter and going on group walks, but he’ll need a dog who’s willing to put up with his dopey play style.

Seeing how laid back Frankie is really makes me, yet again, appreciate dogs three years and older versus the puppies and adolescents. It’s like skipping the teenage years with your kids – which I’m sure my parents wish they could have done, ha!

By the way, Frankie thinks he is the perfect lap dog. . . and I have to agree.

You’ll certainly see more of Frankie (and Jayla) on here in the coming weeks, including real photos finally, not just iPhone shots – hope you’re as excited as I am!

Interested in adding an awesome 75 lb lap dog to your family? Email peacelovefoster@gmail.com – you won’t regret it!

Ask Me Anything Answers: Adoption Standards

This “Ask Me Anything” series is answering the questions and topics that you said you want to read about on the blog. As we move forward, please feel free to leave additional questions in the comments section of answer posts or regular posts. Today’s question has two parts, which I will be answering one after the other:

Do you think it’s better to rigorously screen all potential adopters in order to make sure that each pup is adopted into exactly the right home for him/her? Or is it more important to get as many dogs out of shelters and into homes as possible, even if a portion of them then end up getting returned?

This is a really great question.  If you ask the entire animal welfare community, the opinions on how much we should screen adopters would probably be pretty split. Some people think any home is better than the shelter, and some people think you must make the absolute perfect match for your animals, not lowering your standards one bit.

In this day and age, progressive shelters (note that I say shelters, not rescues – rescues are generally a little different than shelters) are moving more towards having open conversations with adopters, rather than a “prove to me why we should give you this dog” approach. I LOVE that. Lots of shelters are doing away with the traditional “home visit” and spending more time talking with adopters and getting a feel for if the animal is a right fit or not. Many people, especially who have been in this field for a long time, do not feel comfortable with letting go of home visits. They are worried we’ll be sending pets to hoarders or dog fighters (I’m sorry I just have to roll my eyes here, but that’s for a different post). But the truth is that we can’t control every single little detail of an animal’s new home. Furthermore, we have to put some trust in our adopters that they will do what is right to help make the transition smooth and give the animal the best life possible.

I know a lot of you are shaking your head thinking, “but all the animals I have seen returned because the adopter gave up!” I agree with you. I agree that there are adopters out there who are just duds and who do not want to try their hardest to make it work with the animal. But there’s a good chance that there was an opportunity to either uncover that or work through it during the pre-adoption “counseling” session. Humans tend to be pretty transparent, and if you have an honest conversation with someone it is likely that you’ll be able to get a sense if they are interested in a particular pet for the right reasons. There will also be situations where that would happen no matter how much screening you did or did not do. It’s just life.

To answer the individual question directly: I think there should be a balance. I have lots of experience in “choosing” homes for each of my fosters. Because they were my fosters and I know them very well, I was able to tell someone right off the bat if they could possibly be the right fit or not. I had to be very careful, however, that I was not being too picky. It’s tough to do when you love your animals so, so much and you want the best for them and you think you have the best picked out in your mind – but the truth is that life is not perfect and somewhere something has to give if you don’t want to keep your foster pets forever (I see you, foster failures ;-)). None of my adopters have looked “perfect” on paper, but there’s so much more to the big picture than that. Besides, now all of their new families absolutely are perfect for them. What if I hadn’t given them that chance?

What do you say to people outside the animal rescue community who complain that it’s too difficult or the requirements are too strict to adopt a dog, so they think it’s better just to buy instead?

I tell them I feel their pain! I think it totally sucks when shelters or rescue groups make adopters jump through flaming hoops. I agree that there should be standards and pets should not be adopted to just anyone, but I think we are doing ourselves a huge disservice when we make it easier to buy a dog than adopt one.  I sit here and preach about how people should look into breed-specific rescues, but then the rescue groups laugh in their face when they inquire about adopting because they do not meet the group’s “standards.” No, not all groups are like this. There are some really fabulous, flexible ones out there. But there are also some pretty rude, stuck up ones, which I think is a huge shame.

The bottom line is that I think it’s time we start putting a little more power in the hands of our adopters. Instead of trying to make it impossible for someone to adopt a dog, how about we pair them with a good match and then give them the resources to succeed! This is huge – I think we would have less returns if we made post-adoption help more readily available, including health advice, training resources and even just someone being available to walk them through the transition, should they need it.

Shelter workers are looking to put ourselves out of business. We are never going to do that though if we have the outlook that it is a privilege for people to adopt from us. Sending good matches out the door (note: “good” means the pair is safe for the community!) with resources should take priority over sending perfect matches out the door, in my opinion. It doesn’t take much to turn good into perfect before long anyway!

What’s Black and White and Speckled All Over?

Jayla!

She’s the one I told you about yesterday that I took to an adoption event (so, before you get all excited, no she is not my new foster). Mark says I’m just on a “falling in love” kick since I miss Johnnie. I say that Jayla is AWESOME and how can anyone not fall in love with her!? Let me tell you about her.

Dogs like Jayla are actually very refreshing to me (have I talked about this before? I feel like I’ve talked about this before… I’m sorry if I’ve talked about this before!). To be totally honest, it’s very easy when you’re working at a shelter to sort of have your eyes glaze over and stop seeing every dog individually, but rather as a whole group of animals who need help (Animal Farm Foundation addressed this in a very interesting blog post about the concept of psychic numbing). I don’t do it consciously, it just sort of happens… maybe it’s our mind’s way of sparing us a bit of the emotional torture that comes along with working in animal welfare. In any case, it’s not every day that I find a dog I really, truly fall for.

Jayla, like lots of the dogs in a shelter, gets lost in the crowd. At four-ish years old, in the sixteen seconds it takes for someone to walk past her kennel she is just another black and white dog with short fur and a big head. Even when I first took her out, she was distracted and investigating her new environment. Not that I blame her – new places are ohsointeresting when you basically live in a box – but it’s hard to bond with a dog like that. It was only after spending about thirty minutes with her did she start to warm up to me. And it turns out that she is a big sweetie!

Point #1 for Jayla: awesome passenger in the car. Any dog who sits nicely and even falls asleep on their first ride in the car is awesome in my book. Point #2 for Jayla: calm around other dogs. After dealing with a few “over eager” pups, boy was this a nice change! Point #3 for Jayla: she’s tolerant and up for anything. Being around her while she’s got a bully stick? No big. Hanging out with kiddos who want to run and squeal and pull on her tail? It’s nothing. Taking her to new sights and sounds? Easy peesy.

It seems pretty evident that Jayla’s wisdom and maturity comes from the fact that she’s past her teenage years (she’s about 4, remember). She’s over the partyin’ and would rather just hang out on your couch. Oh, and those belly spots? Feel free to give those a nice long rub while the both of you are enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon. Sounds perfect, doesn’t it? I tell ya, if I wasn’t moving in July this little girl would be in my house on my floor at my feet right now (whether foster dad liked it or not ;-)).

And yes, I stole her away for a bit after the adoption event and introduced her to my parents and my yard. They fell in love with her, and she fell in love with them (okay, maybe mostly the yard). Sometimes you just have to fall for one again to remember why you do it!

Looking for a laid back gal whose favorite thing to do is hang in your lap and make you smile? Email me at peacelovefoster@gmail.com.